Wanted: New Skin

I’m such an awkward girl.

I’m not quite comfortable inside of here.

Inside my skin that is.

Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like mine.

I mean how could it be when it rubs and chafes against me so.

Maybe when I was younger someone took my skin and replaced it with this ill-fitting thing.

Too many years of, “You are such a pretty girl….”

This skin has been stretched out of shape by all the years of trying to make it conform to others wishes.

All those wants, desires and thoughts pushing up against me and this skin.

Perhaps this lack of fit is all my own doing.

Too many days with eyes averted from mirrored reflections.  

Too much leaning on others to tell me, something…anything.

Always searching for someone who resembled me.

But how could I find them?

When the me in this skin isn’t really me.

Because this skin don’t fit.

And I’m trading it in.

Wanted:  New Skin.

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6 thoughts on “Wanted: New Skin

  1. The older I get the more comfortable I get in mine. In fact, I’ve gotten too comfortable in it.

    As a child, I was shy….funny looking. As a young man, I tried to please to many people. And now here I sit, comfortable with me in my own skin.

    You put words together well. Like song lyrics with meaning. Keep it up.

  2. I can really relate to this… just today someone told me that they read me all wrong; “You look so reserved and quiet, so sweet, but sometimes you just let a jungaless (ghetto rat – it’s Bahamian slang)in purple tights and rainbow weave jump out”. I was like what? So when I’m soft spoken, which I usually am, I’m their idea of normal and acceptable, but when I speak my mind and voice differing opinions I’m too crass??? Well, this is me and I’m comfortable in my skin. Just tired of conforming.

    ps. I love your blog, you’re very honest and you write beautifully… I’m reading your archived posts now.

    • Conforming for me was like a slow painful death. Finally found out that life is indeed to short to be anything but happy. So I have to be the real authentic me no matter who is rubbed the wrong way because of it. And thank you so much Gem for the kind words, they are appreciated. Happy reading!

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