I’m No Video Vixen

When I was growing up, I would always watch television, movies, videos to see if I could find a girl who looked like me.

Whenever someone would point out a pretty actress or singer, I’d always think to myself,

“She doesn’t look like me.”

Didn’t matter if she was black or white, light or dark, thin or thick.  I just couldn’t seem to find someone I could relate to in terms of looks.

I think as a young girl I was looking for some confirmation of my beauty from society.  Like if I could find someone who looked like me, that was on television or in a movie, then I must be cute.

As I got older and music videos became more popular, my focus switched to the women who were featured in them.  Again I would look at the women trying to find someone who resonated with me in terms of appearance. 

And I’d come to the same conclusion as before. 

None of them…

Nope not one…

Looked anything like me…

So I guess that means I’m no video vixen

But now that I’m all grown up, I’m convinced that is a blessing.

The problem though is I don’t think enough women and girls have come to the same conclusion.  I think far too many are stuck in a place where they need to look like someone/something else in order to feel beautiful/sexy/desired.

Some of the blame falls to the media and society.  But a huge chunk of the cause should rest on the shoulders of women. 

When we stop looking to others to determine our worth, be it media or men, perhaps our young girls won’t feel the need to look outside of themselves for validation.

It took some time but now,

I actually take pride in the fact that I look like me and no one else.  I find great pleasure in my uniqueness which translates into my own sense of beauty, style, sex appeal.

I’m no video vixen and that’s fine by me.


5 thoughts on “I’m No Video Vixen

  1. Thanks for sharing this. It feels good to know that I’m not the only one who has had issues with the way she looks. I’m still a work n progress but I’m starting to accept how I look more and more each day. Thanks girl!!! U rock!!!

    • Awww thanx…..but seriously I’ve struggled for many years with my looks, to the point that I still don’t like to take pictures. But just as I am learning to love myself, I am also learning to love the camera lol. It’s funny though how people perceive us, never knowing what issue(s) we are struggling with. I think if as women we discuss it more between ourselves then we would all benefit.

  2. Charron, I am a video vixen…. However I am a real Video Vixen… Everything I have is real… My body was home grown, no plastic anywhere… Beautiful I am thanks to great genes…. My hair when I buy it is real too…. LOL!! I use to think I needed to dress and try to be the heffas on TV… Then one day I realized I’m better, smarter, beautiful, and real…. So I guess I am a Video Vixen in my own way… BTW no need to look at the TV to find someone who resembles you…. Honey you are BEAUTIFUL!!! Love YA!!!

    • Thank you for sharing girlie. We have to continue to speak on our real beauty so that all women know they are BEAUTIFUL!! Because we all are!

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