When I was growing up, I would always watch television, movies, videos to see if I could find a girl who looked like me.
Whenever someone would point out a pretty actress or singer, I’d always think to myself,
“She doesn’t look like me.”
Didn’t matter if she was black or white, light or dark, thin or thick. I just couldn’t seem to find someone I could relate to in terms of looks.
I think as a young girl I was looking for some confirmation of my beauty from society. Like if I could find someone who looked like me, that was on television or in a movie, then I must be cute.
As I got older and music videos became more popular, my focus switched to the women who were featured in them. Again I would look at the women trying to find someone who resonated with me in terms of appearance.
And I’d come to the same conclusion as before.
None of them…
Nope not one…
Looked anything like me…
So I guess that means I’m no video vixen.
But now that I’m all grown up, I’m convinced that is a blessing.
The problem though is I don’t think enough women and girls have come to the same conclusion. I think far too many are stuck in a place where they need to look like someone/something else in order to feel beautiful/sexy/desired.
Some of the blame falls to the media and society. But a huge chunk of the cause should rest on the shoulders of women.
When we stop looking to others to determine our worth, be it media or men, perhaps our young girls won’t feel the need to look outside of themselves for validation.
It took some time but now,
I actually take pride in the fact that I look like me and no one else. I find great pleasure in my uniqueness which translates into my own sense of beauty, style, sex appeal.
I’m no video vixen and that’s fine by me.