The brown of her eyes

Both expertly coordinated to match the glow of her skin

To the moles and freckles that mingle

Across her cheeks and down her back

From the curve in her waist

The width of her hips

To the slope of her stomach and thighs

From head to toe

A thing of beauty to behold

And though I’d read of her going in and out of the hospital

The news of her passing still hit me like an unexpected punch

Her music has been the thing that I turn to when my heart feels like it is literally aching in my chest

Her music has been the thing that spoke when my crying would not allow me to utter a word

Her music has whispered to my soul when it was so transparent that I thought it might disappear forever

And her music has been the joy

The sparkle

The glow of happiness that only music can impart.

Rest peaceful

Etta James, a true legend

Sweat drips
Eyes sting
Breath heavy
Hearts pound

Hands caress
Arms wrap
Legs shake
Bodies quiver

Minds race
Pulses too
Looks held
Faces blush

Smiles exchanged
Introductions needed
Questions asked
Answers given

Words by eyanj

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 27,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Okay, you got me.

I’m not really an expert.

But I’ve always been a woman open to dating any man who happened to catch my fancy.

I don’t limit my dating pool based on race.

Never have, never will.

I guess I’m progressive for a black woman.

I have dated men of various races, religions and cultures.

And somewhere along the way I have been dubbed the “expert” on interracial dating by my girlfriends.

So in keeping with my title,

I present 6 tips for succesful interracial dating:

1. BE OPEN – Not only to the idea of dating a man of a different race but also to doing things that you might not be use to.  Keep an open mind to new cuisines, dancing styles and any other new things that your date might suggest.
2. STOP STEREOTYPING – I know black people like to point the finger at others when it comes to stereotyping but, if we are honest then we know that we do it too.  So, before you box that caucasian/hispanic/asian man in, give him a chance to show you who he actually is.
3. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE = Yes, some people might not like the idea of you dating outside of your race.  But, in the end does it matter?  I mean really?  As long as you are happy and being respected and cared for, that is truly all that matters.  So if his momma and your auntie can’t seem to get over their issues, all I can say is chuck up some deuces.  As long as the two of you are content and can separate outside feelings from your relationship, then it’s all good.
4. TRY NOT TO BE TOO SENSITIVE – Remember that just like you, your date may not be as familiar with your race or culture.  They may make mistakes or even say something that isn’t quite politically correct.  But if you can tell that their heart is in the right place and they are trying to be open and honest with you, then perhaps a little slack should be cut.
5. DON’T FORGET YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR – Without fail you are going to find yourself in some crazy situations/conversations.  Not only with your date but possibly also with outsiders.  So keep that sense of humor handy.  A little humor can often diffuse an uncomfortable situation.
6. HAVE FUN – Remember to have a good time.  Dating is supposed to be enjoyable.  Yes, you are keeping your eye open for a potential partner but don’t turn this into a job.  Enjoy getting to know different people, cultures, lifestyles.

I hope my little tips help any of you who are thinking of taking the plunge and expanding your dating horizons.

If you currently (or in the past) have dated outside of your race, please share any tips or thoughts you think might be useful.  Or if you give interracial dating a try after reading this post, please come back and share your story.

Hi y’all!

I’m Ronnie and I’m really glad you’re here.

I thought it would be cool to share a little bit about myself with all of you newbies.

And reminisce with my old heads.

So allow me to reintroduce myself by sharing some of my more personal posts.

The 7 Deadly Sins Challenge: All Up In My Business

• This will link you to my foray into the seven deadly sins. And hopefully give you a candid peek into the workings of me.

Diary of a HOT Mama

• This will link you to all of my tales of motherhood and the boy.

Food for the Soul

• This will link you to all of my poetry/prose.  This is truly where my love affair with writing began and continues to be nourished.

I Crack Myself Up

• Because I steady stay laughing.

I think that’s a good start. 

However feel free to browse all of my categories as they all represent a part of me.

And come back often.

Pretty please with me…I mean sugar….on top.

It’s been a little while I know.

I’ve missed you all. 

As many of y’all know, I’ve been rocking my natural hair for almost 2 years.

And I’ve loved every minute. 

But I was a bit nervous when my company’s holiday party was approaching.

I wanted to be classy and dressy and just overall glam.

I thought I’d share with you how I achieved what I thought was a very appropriate natural hairstyle for an upscale event.

The style that I came up with was a 50s inspired partial pin-up style.

Oh and for my girlies who rock transitioning, pressed or relaxed hair, I think this style would work just as well for you.

So what you see in the picture above is a perm rod set that I partially pinned up and accented with a crystal hair comb.

And here’s how I worked it out:

I decided to wash my hair on Thursday knowing the party was Saturday.

I figured this would give my hair enough time to air dry as well as give the perm rods enough time to really set my curls.

So I started my process about 6 pm thursday night knowing I had to work the next morning.

Bad move as it takes 3-4+ hours for my de-tangle and wash cycle. I must have been delusional.

But it is what it is. So I gotta tell the truth.

I always start with a 20 minute pre-poo of coconut oil with a plastic cap and my body heat.  This is a perfect time to get in a little exercise as it raises your body temperature.  I use the pre-poo to prepare my hair for finger de-tangling. After detangling I then place my hair in about 8-10 twists. This entire step usually takes me 1.5 hours.

Next I wash my hair in twists with Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter moisture retention shampoo. I untwisted each section, shampoo, rinse and re-twist. I’m also finger detangling and removing any remaining shed hairs during this step. I then apply the Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter deep treatment masque to each twist. Again I untwist each section, apply product and re-twist. I then apply a plastic cap and my head wrap and let the conditioner sit for approximately an hour. This entire step takes about 1.5 hours.

I rinse the conditioner from my hair while it remains in twists. I make sure to remove all product as I have found that if leave any product my scalp doesn’t like it.

After all conditioner is rinsed out, I apply a combination of grapeseed/castor and almond oil to each individual twist while my hair is still dripping wet. I then wrap my twists in a silk scarf with my head wrap on top of that. This step takes about 30 minutes.

I then allow my hair to air dry to about 60-70% dry. My hair takes forever to dry so this is minimum 2 hours.

Hence my earlier statement that I was crazy to start this process  at 6pm on a weeknight.

So normally I would proceed to twist my hair once it was 60/70% dry. But seeing as it was pushing midnight I decided to go to bed and twist in the am.

I woke up at the crick crack of dawn and proceeded to twist my hair in approx 20-40 twists sealing my ends with QHEMET Burdock Root Buttercream. I then pinned those up so I’d look appropriate for work. (I work in a corporate office).  This step took me an hour.

I used my twists to not only allow my hair to dry but also to stretch it out in preparation for the perm rod set. You could totally forego this step and just blow dry your hair out. But I aim to use heat as little as possible. So no blow dryer for me this time.

When I got home later that evening my hair was dry. I took each twist, unraveled it and ran a flat-iron over the section. My iron was set at 300, which is the lowest setting. I wasn’t aiming for bone straight hair. After going over the section 2-3 times, I divided it into two, applied a touch of QHEMET Burdock Root Buttercream to the entire length, added a paper to my ends and rolled on perm rods.

I have two sizes of perm rods (see picture below) and I’m not sure of the actual sizes. I ended up using 50 rods. I almost ran out at the end so I had to combine some of my twists sections.

I placed my satin bonnet and silk scarf on for sleeping.

The next morning I removed all of the perm rods. I then coated my hands in coconut oil and proceeded to separate the sections and fluff my hair to remove parts. I tried not to over manipulate my hair because I didn’t want it to get frizzy.

Lastly I pinned one side back with a crystal embellished comb. And the other side with just some bobby pins to create a slight pompadour in front.

I really loved the finished style.

Hope you enjoyed!

I chose you.

Meaning there were other options.

And I decided that you and I had the best chance at happiness infinity.

Or maybe I just like the way my stomach dropped when you smiled at me.

While I sipped my mango mojito.

Or coffee.

Or tea.

Whatever the smiles, butterflies, drinks or reasons.

I chose you.

Meaning I thought it through.

All your perceived possibilities.

And glaring flaws.

The mathematics involved with us two possibly equaling one.

Creating something greater than our individual parts.

Weighed like life and death.

Because in the end your fingertips pressed into my flesh.

Resembled cupid’s daggers.

Piercing glances and whispered deceits.

No matter the how we ended up together.

And ended all together.

Don’t be surprised when I move on.

To those other choices.

Smiles.

Butterflies.

Other thoughts.

What did you think?

That you were my beginning and end?

And not merely a choice.

White bone gleaming through splintered skin.

None of this half severed love.

Tendons of emotion stringing us together.

You being here.

And still there.

My heart can’t beat at this slow pace.

It don’t work like that no more.

Full beats.

Fast paced.

Blood rushing to my heart.

Love flowing through my veins.

Me here.

Him next to me.

And you,

A faint outline on healed skin.

People say, hair is hair.

But for me I’ve noticed differences in how I perceive myself (and am perceived by others) since I went natural.

And one things for sure, since going natural I know I feel more confident.

This in turn leads me to feel more attractive.

And I know my confidence has grown by leaps and bounds based solely on one little habit.

I wear my hair pulled away from my face 99% of the time now.

When I wore my hair straight it was so common for m to hae my hair in some style that obscured my face.

That the one time I cut my bangs, my cousin damn near threw a party.

Yes it was that serious.

But a totally unconscious habit.

I never really thought about why I favored face framing styles, almost to a fault.

Not until I began to wear my hair natural did I begin to see how my straight hair was really a security blanket.

It was my safety net in a world (both black and white) that seems to elevate black women with long straight hair.

Once I decided to go natural I found that many black men no longer found me as attractive.

And that some individuals at work (primarily other black women) even questioned my level of professionalism.

All off of something so arbitrary as hair.

But on the flip side I noticed that as I grew more comfortable with my hair (and in turn myself), there were just as many external positives.

I found my attractive stock began to rise exponentially with men of other races.

It was strange at first. 

Not because I’d never had that attention.

But when I compared it to the steep fall of from black men, it saddened me.

That appreciation for my natural beauty and confidence would be from a majority of men who do not share my heritage.

On a positive note, I noticed that my career began to blossom.

I’ve always done well in corporate America.

But somehow I’ve found myself on a much faster track since transitioning.

I attribute a lot of this to the confidence that I’ve attained.

The way in which I project and carry myself.

Being natural in this society is not easy. 

It takes a strong sense of self.

I truly believe this sense of knowing who I am, what I’m doing, executing it, and not needing anyones approval to truly know that my ideas are great, has made a huge difference in my work performance.

Confidence permeates every thing that I do.

From work to play.

- The musings of a Natural Hair Convert

[Insert pouting and tantrum throwing here.]

After I picked myself up off the ground,

I informed him that he was ruining my holiday.

He just looked at me like I was short.

Which I am….

But the point here is that ever since I gave birth to him, I look forward to holidays.

All of them.

With so much more excitement and enthusiasm than I ever did prior to him entering this world.

And Halloween is no exception.

I love to see his excitement at picking out a new, cool costume.

Choosing candy to pass out (hoarding the best stuff for ourselves) on Halloween evening.

Attending parties with families and friends.

And traipsing around the neighborhood mooching off the neighbors.

It’s so much fun and has given us so many fond memories.

Like the year he was Tigger and wore the costume for a month after.

My mom was so hot that I let him wear it to the mall and daycare.

But hey, he was happy.  And it made getting ready in the mornings a snap.

Or the year he was a ninja, complete with nunchucks and double swords.

And we battled in the living room to the sounds of “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting.”

Even his first big boy costume, a bleeding skeleton.

It was a mess but he got so many compliments from kids and adults alike.

His beaming face made it more than worth the mess.

And I say all of this to y’all because my son really could care less.

My pleas for some sort of celebration continue to fall on deaf ears.

The King has spoken.

And the words still ring in my ears,

“No Halloween for you mama.”

Of waiting until everyone is sleep

So I can bury my head in pillows and weep.

I’m tired of soldering on

Waging all the battles

Wounded and bleeding out but fighting nonstop.

I’m tired of being weary

My soul is almost transparent

And my heart beat is almost still.

I’m tired of being tired

Fighting to be fighting

Weary from being weary